Oh Hi Just a Few Gory Kitchen Stories From Bourdain For Your Week
THE KNIFE FELL WHERE??
June 19, 2017
As told to Richie Nakano by Anthony Bourdain
Worst kitchen injury you've ever had?
Grease burns were some bad ones. The worst was probably opening a big can of Dijon mustard. Hand right into the top of the can, just laid myself open.
That was one where I started to pass out. I looked down and said, "My hand is not supposed to look like that." Took a tip off. That was not good. You know when you're looking up on the operating table for a reassuring look and the doctor's going like [winces]? Like that's not good. Every time I watch an action film, Sylvester Stallone gets shot in the hand, or stabbed in the hand, but then continues to duke it out with bad guys, climb a cliff or choke somebody out — no. You get a really bad finger injury, you're done. You ain't going nowhere. You ain't getting on that horse and you ain't holding a gun. You ain't doing shit.
The worst I've ever seen was at CIA. It was also the stupidest I've ever seen. A cook was banging away with her knife, really hard, but holding the handle loosely. Lost control of the knife, and it went straight up in the air, turns around and comes right down and sinks into her shoulder. I think initially she laughed, but I'm not sure. I don't remember, but how do you do that?
That's a really good one. I saw a guy who was cutting a pizza and he knocked his knife off and it fell off the counter and went into his leg.
That's a classic. The one I fear the most, I can barely even talk about it. I wrote a scene in Bone In The Throat that I can barely read, it's so horrifying to me: the rotary cold-cut slicer. That thing… I've seen injuries on it and I can't even. Let's change the subject.