Things To Drink Before You Even Consider The PSL

Nope, nope, nope. Don't even look at it.

September 24, 2020 ● 2 min read

By Richie Nakano | Collage ChefsFeed

There is a cult-like sect of American culture that longs for fall. 

With their endless Instastories about cozy sweaters and apple cider, they're also usually ardent pumpkin spice apologists and try to convince everyone that pumpkin spice anything is actually good, and YOU are the basic one for hating on it. They are wrong. Pumpkin spice is bad unless it's a scented candle whose aroma is something you have to endure only briefly while arguing with your in-laws over what constitutes “fake news.”   

There’s a lot to drink in as the seasons change—to help you endure the end of summer, the sudden reappearance of kids on the subway in the mornings, and the onslaught of Facebook posts about how Pink Lady apples are better than Golden Delicious.    

So here it is—things to drink that aren't Pumpkin Spice Lattes.  

Water is good and free.  

Activated Charcoal Matcha Kombucha
LOL, just kidding.

A milkshake! 
I shouldn't divulge this amazing secret, but milkshakes, aside from being amazing on their own, are an incredibly effective hangover cure. Paired with fries (don't get a burger, your stomach is not ready for that), the milkshake cools your hot, sweaty, uncomfortable body and quiets the voices in your head that question your bad decisions from the previous evening.  

Lillet blanc, lightly chilled, served with a twist!
If you want to seem classy in front of your work friends then maybe try this, I dunno.  

Strawberry Lemonade! 
This is the pinnacle of summer beverages, prepared in huge batches for scorching summer days, to be consumed in large gulps out of giant plastic cups. There are levels to the quality of this beverage, however. Yes, you can buy the pre-made version at like, Target or whatever, but if you want to get real with it you'll need simple syrup, lemon juice, lots of ice, fresh strawberry puree, and if you want to get fancy with it, club soda. Make a lot. Give some to your neighbors. 

Straight bourbon! 
I mean, you can chase it with a beer if you need to.   

Literally any kind of coffee!
Black coffee. Cafe au lait. A mocha. Those iced coffees that come in milk cartons for some reason. What about tea? Have you tried tea? Shit is crazy—they're leaves instead of beans and some of them are good for you and some make you a British citizen. Have some tea instead.    

No PSLs until October. I dare you.