Donald Trump Asked The White House Kitchen To Make Him A Quarter Pounder and It’s The Dumbest Thing I Have Ever Heard
Happy Anniversary to us.
November 9, 2017 ● 2 min read
By Richie Nakano | Collage ChefsFeed
At this point, we are all well acquainted with the questionable tastes of POTUS45.
The long red ties, the well-done steaks with ketchup, and that hairdo that will cause a seizure if you look directly at it. Dude’s tacky, to say the least—he’s a real-life version of an Austin Powers villain for fuck's sake.
So when it came out this week that once upon a time, Trump tried to get the White House kitchen to make him a Double Quarter Pounder with cheese (no pickles, extra ketchup) and a fried apple pie, I got a violent twitch in my eye and my fitness tracker gave me an alert for elevated heart rate. What’s wrong with the President of the United States making a special request of his chefs, you ask? Let me break it down for you:
FIRST OF ALL
McDonald's serves a purpose. Kind of. It’s a meal of convenience, a meal of indulgence, or a meal of financial necessity. It’s for early morning road trips, late nights after the bar, or indulging a guilty pleasure. It’s not something that one of the richest people in the world eats regularly, nor should it be something one of the most powerful people in the world eats regularly. Or, you know, something one of the most wealthy and most powerful people in the world eats regularly.
The White House kitchen is one of the most elite kitchens IN THE WORLD. Becoming the White House Chef is a big deal, and carries an insane amount of weight and diplomatic pressure. Crafting menus meant to convey a sense of national pride alongside international cooperation isn't the kind of task most chefs need to tackle every day. So holy shit is it ridiculous to ask them to make you McDonald's replicas. Especially when:
THERE’S A MCDONALD'S THAT’S A FOUR MINUTE WALK FROM THE WHITE HOUSE.
Having said that, his order is all wrong. Who the fuck gets a quarter pounder with no pickles? A quarter pounder is a big boy burger. It's fine the way it is. If you want to pick the pickles off, order the cheeseburger. That’s what my kids do. Wait, no they don't THEY JUST EAT IT THE WAY IT IS. Also, what kind of monster wouldn't ask them to make french fries fried in tallow and a sundae or something? The apple pie is reserved solely for sketchy truck drivers that think the McDonald's coffee is the best on Earth.
Trump is basically a human grease trap and should not be consuming McDonald's. I'm not saying I'm concerned for the man's health because well, I'm not. But supporting a multi-national health crisis creating poison factory instead of say, one of the hundreds of great restaurants in the DC Metro area is just kind of a dick move.